Happy Birthday

24th October 2009

ur bdae... never fail to celebrate it with you.... for 8 yrs...
the first time is still clear in my mind... bought perfume and a mini ball.. it was green... addidas...
cuz u love soccer so much... and dats where i first met you... u were playing soccer... at nyp sch field...

and this year for the first time, i wasnt there to wish you... to celebrate it with you....
you were with someone else i guess....

I hope all ur wishes come true.....

Back home!

Pheewww... finally im bck home...
i dunno how it turn out... but i screwed up halfway...

it was okay... i managed to talk to the family... just abit... lol!
i hope this is a good start for me...

along the way, there is some sadness that overcome me...
i was thinking abt the ex mum....
reli miss her alot....
at that point of time, i reli wished to just take my fone and give her a call...
i reli miss dat comforting hug, cuz she knew the pain i went tru... and her prayers to give me all the patience i need to go thru everything...

Will i ever be loved by another mum like dat...??
will i ever get another best mum in law like her??


p/s: i knw i never get the chance to call u "mak" but i just wnt u to knw... i reli reli love you like my own... and i hope, you will never forget me... cuz you will always stay in my heart....

sweet

You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there." -Bob Marley

Can i not go?

tomorrow morning.. i will be goin to KL with him and his family...
first time away, with someone i just got to know.. not close at all, who don't knw me...

i've always been a baby... a lil kid...
Still depending on my mum...

Im very nervous, im not close with them at all... met twice... and now goin for a holiday with them.. i hope it works...

after dat fone call with him...
i just dun feel like goin anymore...
I hate ppl forcing me to do things i dun wnt... im the rebellious kind, the more you asked me to do somethings which i dun like, the more im not gonna do it...

Reli,this feel so draggy... i dun feel like goin... i just wanna slp.... slp slp.... slp till monday


love,
nina

Raya 2009 with him

It was green this year! our first year together...

I love this pic of him, love messing up his hair! LOL!

love,

nina

Somehow today i feel blessed....

We had a talk yesterday....
and i realised that he reli understand me...
the unpredictable girl as what he describe me as...
suddenly, i became transparent....
He knew why i behave that way... wat was i thinking when i did that...

and i kept quiet... all sorts of questions came to mind...
i asked myself.. how could anyone knew, without me saying what was in my mind...?
i asked myself... is he the one sent to me??
i asked myself... can i love him as much as i did for sumone from the past...?
the last qn.... why? why does he wnt to be with me with flaws and all... when he could get a better one??
why and how could he accept me for who i am??
what is it in me dat he see dat i dun??
why is it so hard to convinced me after tons of time explaining to me why he wnts to be with me??



pls gimme an ans....




love,
nina

Confusion

Things getting harder and more complicated now....

I've come to a point, whereby i need to make my choice, so i wun hurt anyone...

I feel like crying so bad....

why why why did i brought myself to this situation...

i tried to leaving... but i miss the times i had with both... somehow... i need both to be arnd me...

gosh, never been this confused!